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March 2, 2012 / mashappiness

 this morning …


this morning while trying to create a story, i have mixed emotions. i am wondering if it is good enough. i am wondering if it is interesting. the story itself is a bit of a mystery to me. i am not sure where it is coming from, and i am not sure where it is going. it somehow too feels like a dream. is it a space between dream life and what seems real? the protagonist’s journey i wonder about. where is she going, what’s it all about? and then too, i kid you not, an angel shows up. i had mentioned here once before in a story this angel. i thought it was a silly notion, and my friends here were intrigued by the the idea and wanted to know more. i simply moved on from the story and now it presents itself again. i ask myself what is it that she wants? the protagonist? the angel?

i mostly don’t think about angels. makes me wonder, what are they all about. what a fascinating idea indeed. feeling a bit stuck in writing, i remembered this gorgeous ted talk by elizabeth gilbert, he author of eat pray love (and more) on creativity. it really is quite lovely as she goes on to express how creativity so often is accompanied by a divine attendant spirit. one that comes to humans from a distant unknowable source for distant unknowable reasons. this One speaks wisdom and is genius. the Creative Spirit, fairies sometime, who touch us and enter into a peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration and conversation as we endeavor to create.

it’s not the same, i know, but it reminds me of the time before, the conception, and the giving birth of a child… where was it before, what happens during gestation, and upon entering the world, the glory, privilege and beauty of it all…

so in my story, why does this Angel show herself again?

just when i am tempted to believe it’s all for nothing, i am encouraged and enthused by the sharing of ideas by elizabeth gilbert. i’ll keep going and see where i am led.

i almost forgot, just as these ideas continue to guide me and open my understanding, too, i get these little hits of recognition as if some One knows my endeavors and gently guides… quite lovely really.

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